What I've Learned Being Married
I know being a financial planner, I should be writing about stock investing and sharing the secret sauce to making millions of dollars. Well, we have enough Instagram/YouTube influencers selling their mastermind course to day trading penny stocks. That's not me - let's get personal!
Also, my job is way more than just about money. At times, my job is acting as a mediator or even an emotional therapist to clients and a common discussion topic is marriage – which is a significant financial decision. One thing I love about my job is hearing stories from clients that have been married longer than I've been alive. I always ask, what advice would you give to a newlywed? Here are some responses I've heard.
Your money is her money, and her money is her money.
She is always right.
Always keep the spark.
Make sure to keep dating.
Don't get too much life insurance...
Here are three top things I've learned about being married.
Being married is so fun!
Being married is being with your best friend all the time, even for me, who is very much an extrovert. I always had to be hanging with friends and doing something with them. After getting married, that slowly changed because I realized how much fun we had together. Of course, I still desire to hang out with my friends, but nothing beats experiencing and enjoying life with your partner in crime.
Understand their love language.
Love language? Silly, I know. I received this book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, from a former colleague as a wedding gift. He always said, this book saved my marriage. Truthfully, I never intended to read this book, but my wife was gung-ho about reading this together when I brought it home. The book shares five different languages people feel love. My key takeaway was this: my love language was not her love language (it could be). My love language is the "act of service"; I reciprocated that by showing love with acts of service. I soon realized that her love language was not that, but it was the quality time (ranked bottom half for me). To fill her love cup was by making time just to hang out, go on a coffee date, dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and an occasional getaway trip. After reading this book, I became very aware of this and have changed how I express love - quality time.
3. Pick your battles, gentleman.
No relationship is perfect. You will bicker, argue, and even fight at times, but it okay. What I've learned is not to sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. Of course, stand firm when needed, but sometimes it's better to lose the small battles to win the war (i.e., convincing her to let you go golfing four weekends in a row).
To conclude, what you get from your marriage is what you "BOTH" put into. Have fun and live life to the fullest, together. As silly as it sounds, get to know each other's love language. Lastly, limit the bickering, both of you! Pick your battles and let the small stuff slide.