• Danny Lee, CFP®, CRPC®

How to Talk About a Prenup?

What is a prenuptial agreement “prenup”? It is a premarital agreement or contract entered into by the couple before officially tying the knot, laying out the process for their finances during marriage and in the event, they decide to end it. A prenup is tailored to both of you and is not a one-size-fits-all.


So why have a prenup?

A prenup is common for various reasons. A few examples can be that one spouse:

1. Hold significant assets or a business interest before the marriage

2. Have children from a previous marriage

3. Have had multiple divorces

4. Hold significant debt.

The prenup is to help protect those assets and having rules during a separation.

How to Talk About a Prenup?

Talking about a prenup with your significant other can be difficult since many automatically assume the marriage won’t last. Think of a prenup as travel insurance. You wish never to use it, but you will be grateful to have it because you are protected and keeps things simple when you do. Also, if your relationship is a romantic fairytale, what are you worried about?

A few myths to bust about prenups. 1. Prenups are only for the wealthy; it’s not. 2. Prenups are designed to protect one side; it’s not. Let assume you both had a prospering career, but you stayed at home to raise the kids after having kids. A prenup can help outline the rules for what would happen to protect you from putting your family first. A prenup is customizable and should protect both of you. You are a team; you both get to set the team rules.

So, the key to having a neutral conversation about a prenup is approaching the conversation with empathy and considering both perspectives and planning together. Understand each other’s financial position and goals. It is an excellent opportunity to see if your personal and financial values align, and if not, it’s easier and way cheaper to break it off now than later.

Lastly, don’t rush into it - if you both believe a prenup isn’t necessary right now, that’s okay! The hard part is done. You can always establish a post-nup or a post-marriage agreement. Consulting with a lawyer to help draft the prenup may be a smart idea and probably a good idea that each partner has their own private attorney on their side.

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